Top Ten Reasons Mitt Romney Dropped Out

I caught the audio of Mitt Romey's speech at some Press Club Dinner affair on Mark Levin yesterday. A video version was on ABC News, via Yahoo. Here is the text. I thought he was very funny.

Mitt Romney's Top Ten Reasons for Bowing Out of the Race

10. There weren't as many Osmonds as I had thought.
9. I got tired of the corkscrew landings under sniper fire.
8. As a lifelong hunter, I didn't want to miss the start of varmint season.
7. There wasn't room in the campaign for two Christian leaders.
6. Word leaked out that nobody had bothered to search my passport files.
5. I'd rather get fat, grow a beard and try for the Nobel Prize.
4. I wanted to finally take off the dark suit and tie and kick back . . . in a light colored suit and tie.
3. Once my wife, Ann, realized I couldn't win, my fundraising dried up.
2. I took a bad fall at a campaign rally and broke my hair.

And the number one reason I bowed out of the race:

1. There was a flaw in our campaign theory that, "as Utah goes, so goes the country."