Georgia Out of My Mind

For anyone who knows me, I think this should be clear, but just in case anyone hasn't checked in since college, please know the following unequivocally:

If I ever said anything nice about Jimmy Carter or Ted Turner, I hereby take everything back. I was either young or stupid or both. They are both vain, petty, wrong-headed men and I am sorry to have ever said anything to the contrary.

Even the part about admiring the Carters for their work with Habitat for Humanity. We have lots of people at our church who have devoted real time and work for that cause and, as far as I know, none of them have ever subverted the policies of the United States. They also haven't done it so that they can be photographed in action.

And Ted is just nuts. I actually think the Atlanta Braves would be one of my favorite teams if they didn't still have the psychic resonance of the Mouth of the South as their curse. Maybe the Ghost Hunters can be called in. But there's no saving CNN. It's damaged goods, plain and simple

The sad thing is: I love Georgia as a state. It's beautiful and diverse and Atlanta is one of my favorite cities on earth. But even their baseball stars don't seem to help. I used to look up to Ty Cobb and I have since learned that he was a hard man - and that's putting it nicely. I also visited Kevin Brown's hometown once on business. When I mentioned to the Director of Gas Operations that I thought this was Kevin's stomping grounds, his eyes lit up. He drove me by the house where he grew up. But I think he (Kevin) might be a little off, too. Maybe it's the Kaolin pits that the town is known for.

And then there's the whole Deliverance thing. And don't get me started about Designing Women.

But at least the Food Network stars that hail from there . . . no, they're kind of wacky, too. I mean, Paula Deen and Alton Brown . . . well, at least they seem to be nice folks. So I'll hold on to that. And Newt Gingrich.

OK. I feel better. But please throw out anything nice I ever said about Jimmy Carter or Ted Turner. It was just the peanuts talking.