If I Knocked the "L" Out of Kelly

If I Knocked the “L” Out of Kelly
lyrics by Sam Lewis and Joe Young
music by George W Meyer

St Patrick's Day

An’ a top of the mornin’ to ya! We kick off Holy Week with the wearin’ o’ the green. As we remember Ireland’s Patron Saint Patrick today, we also traditionally remember the Monday after Palm Sunday as the day when Jesus drives the money changers out of the temple. It must be an important story, because Matthew, Mark and Luke all three record it. After the ride into Jerusalem on the donkey, Jesus enters the Temple and, quoting Jeremiah 7:11, exclaims:

Is it not written, “My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations”? But you have made it “a den of robbers!” (Matthew 21:13, Mark 11:17 and Luke 19:46).

Jesus then forcibly drives out those who were changing money into “temple currency”, selling animals, and the like. We all like to think of “gentle Jesus, meek and mild”, but we do well to remember that He got angry at those things which kept God’s children from Him.

Saint Patrick was also famous for driving out bad things. I’ve not yet been to Ireland, but if the Guinness and the beautiful countryside didn’t already call me, I would be drawn there by the fact that, like Hawai’i, there are no snakes on the island. I have a confession to make: when I was younger and would come across a picture of snakes (in National Geographic or the World Book), I would keep those pages together as I quickly turned them. Some people don’t like spiders or bugs, but an island with no snakes is my idea of paradise.

I don’t know if it rises to the level of Jesus’ righteous anger in the Temple, but today’s song deals with some of that famous, red-headed temper. It begins with a simple business transaction gone awry:

Timothy Kelly, who owned a big store;
Wanted his name painted over the door;
One day Pat Clancy the painter man came;
He tried to be fancy, but misspelled the name;

I actually can empathize with Mr Clancy. XM radio has been running an Irish music channel for the weekend. After having it on for the past 30 hours or so, I think I am becoming an honorary Irishman, as evidenced by this progression that has been forced upon my by the music:

Blurring the distinction between valid religious saints and mythical beings
Heavy drinking
Insanity

Just kidding! (I’m a kidder.) But seriously, that music causes you to take a stand after a while. My left ear is hurting today and, ordinarily, I’d worry that I was getting an ear infection. In reality, it might just be the penny whistle. Anyway, back to our song. Pat Clancy the painter may have had one of those legendary “free lunches” at the pub before painting Mr Kelly’s sign, because here’s what happened:

Instead of “Kelly” with double L Y
He spelled it “Kely”, but one L was shy

We all know the importance of a good name from Proverbs 22:1, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Well, our narrator gives us similar words of warning. It’s hard to know whether he sings the following chorus after seeing painter Clancy nursing a Guinness in one hand while holding a beefsteak on his eye with the other. Maybe, he’s just relaying how he would feel if someone got his name wrong. Or maybe storeowner Kelly is famous for his temper. At any rate, we get a crash course on the importance of spelling:

If I knocked the “L” out of Kelly
it would still be Kelly to me
sure a single L Y
or a double L Y
would look just the same to an Irishman’s eye
Knock off an L from Killarny sure Killarny it ever will be
but If I knocked the “L” out of Kelly
sure he’d knock the “L” out of me!

Jesus seemed to be very concerned with His Father’s good name, too. In church yesterday, Jim offered an intriguing idea as to the reason for Jesus’ anger. Jim first explained how the Temple was laid out. It was an enormous structure built in a series of concentric squares (if that’s not mixing a metaphor). In the innermost part was the Holy of Holies, where only the High Priest could go once a year. Then there was the Holy area for only the priests. Next was the men’s courtyard and just outside that was the women’s courtyard. All these aforementioned areas were only for Jews: a gentile faced death if he or she was found in any of these parts. The outermost courtyard of the Temple (but still within the Temple) was the courtyard of the gentiles and everyone was welcome there. It was the only place where non-Jews could go within the Temple walls, and that was the area where all the money-changing and trading was going on. Jim asked us to imagine if we were trying to worship God in that area (the only place as foreigners we could go), it would be difficult if not impossible to focus our worship on the Lord with all that commotion going on around us. When Jesus is quoting Jeremiah (“my temple is a house of prayer for all nations . . .”), he is stressing that importance.

The nation of Ireland has recently become quite an economic force. After years of being hampered with socialism and lethargy, Ireland in the last few years has drastically cut tax rates – and revenues have soared. They have encouraged private development and ownership, and the economy is booming. In short, Ireland has encouraged the foreigner to come within its purview and has removed those barriers which have impeded both them and their nationals to succeed. Think of that when you put on your “green” today.

When I was a boy and heard the line from today’s song, “he’d knock the ‘L’ out of me”, I knew there was a pun there but I couldn’t quite grasp it. It was the same way with that joke about a door being “ajar”. When we get older, we get the humor – or the gravity – of a situation that we might have missed when we were younger. And then sometimes, even when we don’t understand something, we just have to defer to a trusted friend. Often, it’s the little things – a missing “L”, a little commotion in the courtyard – that are actually the big things. Just ask Mr Kelly, or the Lord Himself.

As we hoist a pint or a "wee dram" this evening, we do well to remember those instructions from the Lord that often seem minor, but that actually, in His infinite wisdom, are intended to bring us to health and wholeness and a closer walk with Him.

Slàinte!