Stereophonic Sound

Stereophonic Sound
by Cole Porter

If you want to get the crowd to come around, you gotta have
Glorious Technicolor
Breath-taking Cinemascope
and stereophonic sound!

It’s Fun-Time Friday once again! Today’s song is from Cole Porter’s penultimate musical, Silk Stockings. Set smack dab in the middle of the Cold War, the show roughly involves Soviet envoy Nina Yaschenko, who is dispatched to Paris to retrieve three Commissars who have fallen prey to “western decadence.” Plans go awry, however, when she meets theatrical agent Steven Canfield and he woos her with the fruits of capitalism (the “silk stockings” of the title). Thus, true love carries the day. As a secondary plot, motion picture swimming star Janice Dayton (think Esther Williams) has her sights on Peter Boroff, Russia’s greatest composer, to write her a musical adaptation of War and Peace. Based on the original story Ninotchka (the diminutive name of the lead character Nina), Silk Stockings opened on Broadway in 1955. A film version in 1957 starred Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse.

In Act One, Steven and Janice sing about how it is becoming increasingly harder to bring in the audiences these days:

Today to get the public to attend a picture show
It's not enough to advertise a famous star they know
If you want to get the crowd to come around, you gotta have
Glorious Technicolor
Breath-taking Cinemascope
and stereophonic sound

I can relate to this theme on many levels. First, I have come to believe that we are the last family in America that does not have an HDTV. All my friends have been repurposing their armoires back into clothes closets (for the third time in the armoire’s life) as they hang their flat screens on the wall. And, I will admit, the results are glorious, breath-taking, and even hyper-stereophonic.

If Zanuck's latest picture were the good old-fashioned kind
There'd be no one in front to look at Marilyn's behind
If you want to hear applauding hands resound, you gotta have
Glorious Technicolor
Breath-taking Cinemascope
and stereophonic sound

Churches are also wrestling with how to incorporate new technology and modes of worship into their services. On the one hand, any new innovation was probably revolutionary when it was first introduced – think of what the pipe organ must have looked like to the first people who witnessed it in worship. But there may be times when something out of character with the setting may actually impede worship. In our own church, we are trying to figure out a way to work in a video screen (if indeed we can) into the beautiful, gothic Sanctuary. Do we try to add something that would undoubtedly aid in worship and instruction; would it be as obtrusive as that monolith in the bedroom in the final scene of 2001: A Space Odyssey if we did; or do we just wait until holograms are commonplace, thereby obviating the need for screens?

The customers don't like to see the groom embrace the bride
Unless her lips are scarlet and her bosom's five feet wide, in
Glorious Technicolor
Breath-taking Cinemascope,
or Cinerama, VistaVision, Superscope, or Todd-A-O
and stereophonic sound
and stereophonic sound

And there is the current discussion about styles of worship. On the one hand, we are blessed around the world with as many styles of worship as there are cultures, maybe even more. And there is an argument to be made that youth, especially, are drawn to newer forms of worship. So, some of the Emergent Churches look more like Starbucks than sanctuaries. But there is also that old adage, “what you win ‘em with is what you win ‘em to.” At what point do we quit trying to chase after the culture and, instead, present the Gospel, unplugged? It’s a tough call.

You all remember Lassie that beloved canine star
To see her wag her tail the crowds would come from near and far
But at present she'd be just another hound, unless she had
Glorious Technicolor
Breath-taking Cinemascope
and stereophonic sound

I have this theory I call “the Tomorrowland Terrace Syndrome”. As a teenager in the sixties, I remember when Disneyland, in an effort to be more “relevant (remember that term?)”, opened up the Tomorrowland Terrace to various “rock” groups – except they were actually more “pop” groups. I remember Gary Puckett and the Union Gap and the Osmonds (and I believe the Carpenters got their start there), but I don’t ever remember Led Zeppelin or the like. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing (in fact, I think it would have gone against the perceived Disney brand if they had), but I wonder how many people thought it was a lame attempt to be “in” by presenting pop groups as cutting edge rock.

I lately did a picture at the bottom of the sea
I rassled with an octopus and licked an anchovee
but the public wouldn't care if I had drowned, unless I had
Glorious Technicolor
Breath-taking Cinemascope
and stereophonic sound

I thank God for every technological advancement that enables His Gospel to be more effectively presented. Next time you’re sitting in worship (or searching Scripture passages on your computer, or watching a sermon on your iPhone), think of everything that brings glory to God and enhances your worship experience. Then consider if it was, at one time, a revolutionary technology (from pipe organs, to printed hymnals, to stained glass windows, to flying buttresses, to sound systems, to computer screens – and the list goes on and on). Then, let’s ask God to guide us as we move forward, always keeping in mind an unfiltered proclamation of His Gospel and an intimate connection with his other children:

There was a time when dancing was so intimate and sleek
A fellow hugged his partner as they cuddled cheek to cheek
Now he doesn't even know if she's around, because they're in
Glorious Technicolor
Breath-taking Cinemascope
and stereophonic sound

Maybe St Paul can give us some pointers in 1 Corinthians 2:1-2:

When I came to you, brothers and sisters, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.

And you know, sometimes that ought to be enough.